Thursday, November 12, 2009

No Babies: 100% Effective

There are 3 methods of birth control that are utterly foolproof. No matter how drunk you are, no matter how caught up in the moment you are, no matter how hard you try:

1. Same-sex partners

The whole birth control thing is moot if you're shaggin' your own sex. Gay and lesbian couples can raise babies as well as anyone, but making them...that's a different story.

2. Hysterectomy
GTFO, uterus

Taking it out merely to prevent pregnancy is not a good call, because it also creates and helps regulate a woman's hormones. However, if the uterus is removed for other reasons, not having to worry about birth control is a bonus. No oven, no bun. Commence boning.

3. Abstinence from intercourse.

Now, I'm not suggesting replacing sex with a walk in the woods or a rousing game of Uno. I'm suggesting that it's possible to be sexy while making sure your tingly bits don't ever touch. Easy tip for success - only one person gets to be naked at a time!

Next up - the almost foolproof!

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