Recession Proof Jobs

Everybody keeps talking about health and computer careers being recession-proof employment. That very well may be true, but there is another industry that does gangbusters and better, no matter what the economic climate. The Adult Entertainment Industry.

SexyJobs.com wants to hook you up with your "dream life" as an adult entertainment professional. They've got listings for men, women and transgendered actors, models, phone operators, and a bevy of other porny labor opportunities for the unemployed or underemployed masses.

Job seekers can post a resume and employers in need of talent can search said resumes for free, much like any other job site, like monster.com or careerbuilder.com, except with boobs. There are subscription membership 'upgrades' for cash, which supposedly give people access to additional job information, but I couldn't get much info about what the benefits really are. They get over 20,000 hits a month, so somebody's looking at it!

...yes, but what is your educational background?

I first heard about this on Judge Judy (who is kind of my hero) where a woman who was hired through this service got screwed (not literally) by the guy who hired her, so it's not always smooth, but the site is authentic. Like other job search sites, potential employers contact talent directly, so the site doesn't take a cut.

I'll say, as I do to all people I come across that are thinking about becoming sex workers, that if you choose to go for one of these jobs, do your research before going anywhere. Make sure the people you're going to work for are legit and professional. This goes for women AND men.

When going to a new job, make sure at least one person knows where you're going, who you're working for, and when you're supposed to be done for the day. Most people are going above board, but even legal sex workers are vulnerable to being taken advantage of in pretty grave ways.

If you've used this service, I'd love to hear about your experience!

Edit: I'm not suggesting that anyone seek employment in Adult Entertainment. But considering that pornography is a multi-billion-dollar industry, it's naive to think that nobody does. If this post and advice apply to you, I hope they're helpful. If they don't, enjoy them (or not) for entertainment/informational purposes only, but don't go reading anything crazy into it. Thanks!

And I Thought Bush-Era Sex Education Was Bad...

I'll admit to being a bit of an Anglophile. They brought me Jane Austen, Monty Python and Absolutely Fabulous, not to mention Yorkshire Pudding and David Beckham, and for this I am eternally grateful.

However, they're also responsible for hideous acts of colonial violence, bloody wars and that damn 'Shopaholic' book series (which, dear readers, you should especially not read while working in a central African hospital with no electricity or running water. It will anger you deeply).

The Brits also coughed this up, which was sent to the Answerbox this morning. I am at once amused and appalled (click to make it bigger):

Those blokes sure knew how to keep a bird happy!

A few highlights:

"Should your husband suggest congress, then agree humbly, all the while being mindful that a man's satisfaction is more important than a woman's."

"...a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment you may have had."

Mind you, this is from the 1960s, not the 1860s. 50 years ago, people. Well within my parents' lifetimes. I mean, I knew the Brits were a little more proper than we Yanks, but this is kind of ridiculous.

Whenever I get pissed off about the inequality women still have to deal with in this world, I like to break crap like this out to remind myself how much better I have it than my foremothers did.

Thank you, JJ, for sending this in, and for raising beautiful boys that will help to keep the gender gap shrinking!

Answerbox: Goin' Down with a Cold

I got the following question in the Answerbox: "If I have a cold and I go down on a girl, can I give her my cold?" Such a good question!!

Because a woman's yoni is a mucous membrane, just like the inside of the mouth or the nose, yes, the tissue is susceptible to viral infection, even with a cold or flu virus.

However, because cold and flu viruses can live on surfaces and even in tiny water droplets in the air, it would be really hard to determine if the virus entered the body through specifically oral sex, as opposed to a more mundane route like a kiss or a sneeze or just being close to each other.

C'mere baby...lemme give you a kiss...

So, can you give a cold through oral sex? Yes. Will you? Probably not before you give it to her some other way.

Send in your questions because I love them!

Happy Valamintimes Day!!

I vacillate between thinking that Valentine's Day is a day of commercialism and smashed expectations and thinking that it's...no, that's pretty much how I feel about it.

Don't get me wrong, it can be really sweet - the Manfriend has been known to totally outdo himself on the sweetness tip, which is why he is my Valamentime for keeps - but I wish the whole thing hadn't devolved to the point where men feel pressured to buy diamond jewelry they can't afford, and that women who don't get diamonds feel like they're not loved.

But, in the spirit of not being a total killjoy, I take this opportunity to wish each and every one of you a happy VD, and to let you know that if you don't have a valentine this year, I happily offer myself up. Consider this slipped into the decorated paper pouch taped to your desk:

Jump on the Chakabox Love Train!!

Third Date Conversation

For most people with incurable-yet-not-deadly STDs, (like genital herpes or genital warts) symptoms of the infection are really not the troublesome part, believe it or not. The hard part is having to tell new sex partners about what they've got. I call this conversation the Third Date Conversation.

Time is of the Essence

"Third date" is a euphemism for the time in a new relationship when sex is imminent. You've made out a little, you've had dirty thoughts, copped a feel here and there, and you're ready to rip that sexy creature's clothes off and chow down. Sometimes this happens 45 minutes after meeting, sometimes it takes months or even years.

The actual # date is not the point. The point is that you hold off a little to let your date actually get to know you, so they can decide if sleeping with you is worth the risk to them. If you go out on one date with someone and it doesn't work out, they really don't need to know you have an STD. By the same token, though, you can't hold off so long that a) they're all in love with you, or b) you end up naked without having talked about it.

Take home message: have this conversation BEFORE nakedness commences.

Location, Location, Location

This should go down (no pun intended) in a neutral place, somewhere that both people can comfortably leave and go back to their own space if anyone needs to mull things over before continuing. Not in someone's bedroom when you're half-naked and horny and your sexy bits have partial control of your brain. I think that in cars and on quiet walks are excellent venues.

Talking Points

The best thing a person with an STD can do to make this conversation go well is to know what you're talking about. Know what you have, what it does, how it works, and what the risks to a partner are. Know how to help prevent transmission and how effective those prevention methods are, and where your partner can get tested.

Most importantly, let the person know that you're telling them because you respect them and care about their well-being - it's true, and it keeps things in perspective. And remember, if you need some of this info, the Answerbox is chock full of it!

Realities

There's no point in sugarcoating it...sometimes, this conversation will end a new relationship, full stop. It's just the way the world works. But do you know what? Some people WILL think you're worth the risk. They'll find your respect and willingness to make yourself vulnerable to be sexy and irresistible. And when that does happen, you know you've got someone who's interested in more than just a roll in the hay. These STDs complicate sex lives, but they don't have to end them!

Look, I know that having this conversation is hard, no matter how prepared you are for it. It puts people in an extremely vulnerable position at an already stressful time in a relationship. What I will say though, is that the chances of the conversation going the way you want it to are exponentially better if you bring it up before putting your partner at risk. In my experience, it's not STDs themselves that drive people apart - it's LYING about it.

Finally, I want to commend - HARD - all the people out there who have taken responsibility and had this difficult talk, no matter when in a relationship it happened. Your partners are lucky to have you, and I'm pretty glad there are folks like you out there, too.

Not Work Safe, Dude Doesn't Care

One of the odd things about my last workplace was that on any given day, you could walk by various offices and see genitalia displayed openly on computer monitors. Ahhhh...science.

So, if the guy in the video below also worked in an STD research clinic, nobody would be particularly surprised if naked parts showed up on his computer. But because he works in a wealth management office, that surprise factor shoots up to about 9.5. Look over the talking head's left shoulder at about 1:00.

Now we're talkin' a spreadsheet!

My favorite part? Check out employee of the month at 1:34: "Wait, what?"

Let this be a life lesson for you, dear readers: if at work your computer monitor faces anything other than you and the wall behind you, save the topless photos for home. Especially when instead of the wall your computer monitor faces, say, the television camera crew that has set up across the room for the afternoon.

Oh, Tyra

Not a great way to encourage this young man to ask adults honest sex questions (which was the point after all), but an excellent way to entertain me. Thank you, Miss Tyra.

Grindr

So. Grindr. The newest thing in WiFi technology for gay men. An app for iPhone and iPod Touch that uses GPS to hook guys up for casual sex. It's like Craigslist on steroids!

Not for pepper.

On the one hand, I think this is ingenious. What a clever application of GPS technology, and way to identify a market and cater to it! On the other, the STD fighter in me cringes at the sheer number of casual sexual encounters that result from such a thing. Don't forget the condoms, men!

There are some concerns about safety and privacy. Personally, I think it's as safe as any other tryst-with-a-stranger-from-the-internet, gay or straight (meet in public and trust your heebie-jeebies, hurt feelings be damned).

There are also those that say the app perpetuates negative stereotypes of gay men as promiscuous and sex-crazed, which is probably true in some cases. As a counter, I will take this opportunity to point out that most gay men are not just looking for regular anonymous sex in random places. A bunch are, or apps like this wouldn't exist, but most are looking for someone to build a life and buy real estate with.

What are your thoughts? Have you used Grindr? What did you think?

Oh! Speaking of gay sex, there's some GREAT news! The rates of syphillis and gonorrhea among gay men in San Francisco declined in 2009!! Keep it up (and covered), men!!

UPDATE 2.19.10: Get it while you can, guys...looks like Apple is flexing their inner Big Brother again.