Saturday, December 5, 2009

Defile It, Baby!

A zillion years ago, I learned that the verb 'to masturbate' meant 'to fool oneself' in some ancient language. As it turns out, this is wrong. How the modern word came about is a little convoluted, but to sum up, it actually means "to defile [oneself] with the hand". Not quite as catchy as 'to fool oneself', but still very good to know!

Unsurprisingly enough, I'm a big fan of masturbation. I think it's something absolutely everyone should do on a regular basis - men and women, young and old, whether single or partnered. It gets people familiar with how they like to be touched. It provides an escape from reality - to a place where the sex is always good! It's also a way for people to pamper themselves a little and to love on themselves for a while.

Joycelyn Elders, one of the most awesomest humans ever, was appointed Surgeon General by Bill Clinton in 1993. Just over a year later, at a United Nations AIDS conference, she said that promoting masturbation to young people as an alternative to riskier behaviors was an idea worth considering. She was promptly fired by the White House, instantly becoming a martyr for reason and rational thought.

In fact, it was only after hearing about Bush II's abstinence-only-sex-education plans that I stopped believing the government couldn't get any stupider than firing someone for suggesting it's ok for kids to masturbate. But, as usual, I digress. I do that, if you hadn't noticed.

We'll get into the nitty-gritty of self love on another day. For today, I just want to state that everyone should be putting out for themselves from time-to-time. You deserve to get some just the way you like it, even if you're not ready to share exactly what that is yet. And no matter how well or how regularly you might be getting some from a partner, make sure to save a dance for yourself every once in a while.

Finally! An excuse for a Glee clip!!

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