Saturday, May 28, 2011

I'm Having a Michael Jackson Moment

Not because I have inappropriate relationships with children, or because I've gone bonkers because I didn't have a childhood, but because I totally found some human remains I want to buy.

and also dance with

Tomorrow, in Ireland, Matthews Auction Rooms are putting the (alleged) skull of Saint Vitalis of Assisi up for bid.  Saint Vitalis is the patron saint of what?  Genital diseases.  That's right, not only do genital diseases HAVE a patron saint (honestly didn't see that one coming from the Catholics), but you can now buy his head for the bargain basement price of about $2K.  

Crispy palm fronds included at no extra charge!
St. Vitalis was apparently a total manwhore when he was young, but then felt all bad about it and decided to repent by joining St. Frankie's crew in Asissi and becoming a Benedictine monk.  He was sainted because he supposedly provided miracle cures to people with complaints of the junk.  Which was, you know, nice of him.


So if you've got an extra $2K lying around and want to get on the good side of your faaaaaavorite sex blogger, Matthews Auction Rooms are located on the Square in Oldcastle, directly opposite the Bank of Ireland (handy!!) and their phone # is 049 855 0055.

And now here's some Billie Jean, because it's good to remember that Michael Jackson made incredible music before he went bonkers, and because there's no such thing as enough Billie Jean.

1 comment:

  1. If you're a DJ that doesn't have Billie Jean in your collection, you are missing the gold plated nuclear option of ass shaking women.

    If it's not working, check the bass!