Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Erotic Horror, Deep Sea Style

I was all set to do this big political post inspired by video about a 90's anti-masturbation campaign put forth by a woman who recently won the GOP primary in Delaware, but got exhausted trying to explain in a succinct and entertaining manner that I really don't hate Republicans or Christians, so I bagged it.

Let's just say that I believe repression of natural sexuality leads to unhealthy ends and that while politicians' religious beliefs must inform their legislative actions, they should never dictate them - we live in a secular society.

That being said, it is my goal that everyone feel welcome, no matter where you fall relative to the proverbial aisle.  I remain unapologetically pro-choice and pro-comprehensive sex education in schools, but if you can hang with that, I hope you can feel comfortable here.

This is Mark.  He's how we try to roll.

But enough with politics.  Instead, let's talk about how crazy the sex lives of deep sea anglerfish are, because their sex lives are CRAZY. 


So crazy, in fact, that I had to go find some proof before I would completely buy it.  Turns out it's TRUE.  In basic terms, male deep sea anglerfish are born with a singular purpose: find a female deep sea anglerfish, bite her, and allow his special face enzymes to do their thing, which is to liquefy his face and FUSE HIM INTO THE FEMALE'S BODY so she can later impregnate herself when she feels like it. 

How thoughtful of the Spice Girls to sing a song to deep sea Lophiiformes!

The Oatmeal has created a comic that describes this underwater horrorshow of love more hilariously than I could hope to with 2 final papers to finish by the end of the week, and so it is to his brilliant corner of the internet that I now send you to expand your understanding of this remarkable world we live in.  

crazy worth the click, yo

Thank you, Manfriend, for sending me such awesome things from your travels on the interwebs, and thank you, universe, for shaking out in such a way that I get to have people sex and not guys-fusing-into-my-body deep sea anglerfish sex.  I totally appreciate that.

Doesn't really do it for me...


  1. I totally watched and re-watched the anglerfish part of a David Attenborough documentary because of this very thing! I hope that I won't be reincarnated as one - male or female. I don't want any part of creepy sexual assimilation.

  2. I love David Attenborough more than I can express here.

    I also know you will not be reincarnated as an anglerfish - a mongoose, perhaps, or an owl, but definitely not an anglerfish.