Greece Has Always Been Interesting...

...but now I am FASCINATED.

All that, and feta, lamb, and olives for days?  This is my kind of country, people.  

Something To Think About When Planning International Travel

If you like penises, anyway.  I have no idea who compiled this information, but I appreciate it.

All the travel agent the cock connoisseur will ever need

I'm not a snob when it comes to cock size - in fact, I list a man that lost most of his penis in a botched surgery as one of the finest lovers I've ever had.  Don't get me wrong - I'm delighted that the Manfriend's is as glorious as it is - but size is absolutely not all when it comes to a man's skill.  I mean, hello...the country that brought the world the Kama Sutra purportedly has some of the smallest dicks in the world.  

Click here for an interactive version of the map.  Enjoy your travels, cock lovers - send me a postcard!!

NYC is Pretty Neat, It Turns Out

I've never been to New York.  I've had various friends living there on and off since right after high school, but I've still never managed to get there.  There are some things that sound amazing about it, like 4 million restaurants from every country in the world, not to mention 4 million PEOPLE from every country in the world.  But then someone will say something like "every streetcorner in Manhattan smells like a different asshole" and the bloom comes off the rose a little.

 thank you, Manfriend, for that potent description

Oh, Baby, I Want You...To Sign This, Please

The forties were a crazy time in America.  There was WAR and insane racism but also great shoes and delicious, delicious Gene Kelly.  There was also this:

Who needs moonlight and roses when there's paperwork?!

A gentleman could give this to a lady prior to having casual sex with her, in case said lady thought said gentleman might marry her or something, which he would most certainly not do.  It was also useful in case the cops barged in because they suspected a fee-for-service situation.  Or that he trafficking her, which is also what the Mann Act (officially the White Slave Traffic Act) was (and is) about.

I'm all about communication - you don't accrue the kind of debt I'm currently in the process of expanding to become a therapist if you're not.  But a pre-coital agreement is taking it a little far, I think.  I know it was a different time and all...but dang.

A Sexy Last Minute Gift for the Girl Who Actually Has Everything

There are all kinds of ridiculous things that advertisers try and pass off as Christmas gifts.  I know there are households where a brand new Lexus is not unheard of as a present, but I also know there aren't enough of them to warrant the number of commercials you see this time of year with big-ass bows sitting on big-ass cars in big-ass driveways.

recession schmisession!

Giving "Eat Me" a Whole New Meaning

Cannibalism isn't sexy.  I'm sorry if that offends any cannibals, but I'm just going to go ahead and say it.  I'm not saying that if I were part of the Donner Party, or one of those poor bastards that got in that plane crash in the Andes that I wouldn't break off a piece of someone if I got hungry enough, but it's just not sexy.  OK, there is a guy in Germany that might beg to differ, but he, like, eats people, and do you really want to listen to a guy who eats people?

Although I have heard they can pair a Chianti like a mofo

NINJAAAAAAAA

My friend Lindsey posted this video on Facebook (become a friend of Chakabox!), and it makes me incredibly happy.  I'm not really a ninja girl, and never really have been, but this makes me think I may have been horribly, horribly misguided about that.

They do what the men do, only backwards and in kimono and with their vaginas.

Seriously, put Uma Thurman in her yellow jumpsuit up against this chick and there would be NO CONTEST.  I mean, The Bride could kick some ass and all, but could she put someone back in her WOMB?!  Nope, all she did was regular, garden-variety getting someone out of her womb, and she was even unconscious while doing that.  Nope, amazing sword or no, she's no match for the Queef of Doom.  

Katana Schmatana

Erotic Horror, Deep Sea Style

I was all set to do this big political post inspired by video about a 90's anti-masturbation campaign put forth by a woman who recently won the GOP primary in Delaware, but got exhausted trying to explain in a succinct and entertaining manner that I really don't hate Republicans or Christians, so I bagged it.

Let's just say that I believe repression of natural sexuality leads to unhealthy ends and that while politicians' religious beliefs must inform their legislative actions, they should never dictate them - we live in a secular society.

That being said, it is my goal that everyone feel welcome, no matter where you fall relative to the proverbial aisle.  I remain unapologetically pro-choice and pro-comprehensive sex education in schools, but if you can hang with that, I hope you can feel comfortable here.

This is Mark.  He's how we try to roll.

But enough with politics.  Instead, let's talk about how crazy the sex lives of deep sea anglerfish are, because their sex lives are CRAZY. 

Lollipop Girls

Ok, seriously...the internet is insane with its mostly SFW porn alternatives.  I thought I'd mostly seen it all when I discovered the pedal pumping phenomenon, but there are apparently a kabillion ways to get off watching girls without having to worry about getting fired for watching it at work.

though really, your boss would have to be mostly clueless to not get it

These vids are a whole lot more self-explanatory than their foot/car fetish contemporaries, but I still mostly don't get it.  I mean, she's super cute, but it goes on for SIX MINUTES.  And she's not the only one out there!!  Maybe I need a penis that could empathize with the lolly? Or at least a sexual orientation that would find girls sucking on things seductively, well, seductive?   What do you think, peeps....hot or not?

A big thanks to Rich over at Fourfour, both for the link to Lollipop Girl (she is one of his heroes) and for blogging America's Next Top Model like nobody else can.  And also for Winston.

Looking for Fun This Weekend?

I, for one, am going CAMPING this weekend, which I could not be more stoked about.  We're going up to the North Cascades to tool around in boats, climb waterfalls, eat a bunch of yummy grubbins, and drink a lot while soaking up the sunshine.

this is the most funnest place

When Sleepytime = Sexytime

Sometimes, I can't sleep.  It's kind of a drag, but I mostly don't mind.  It usually happens because I'm stressed out about something and can't wind down, but sometimes it's because there's too much noise outside (I live downtown and there's people and cars and frickin' garbage trucks going all night).  On more rare occasions it's because the Manfriend mounts a production of his momentous and rousing Sleepytime Symphony.

I want that teeth gnashing just pianissimo tonight, people...

It all pales in comparison, though, to Sexsomnia, or sleepsex. It's a variant on sleepwalking where sufferers perform all kinds of sexual actions, including talking dirty, masturbating, and having sexual intercourse with people, all while fast asleep.  Think x-rated sleepwalking - not something easily remedied by earplugs (which are a miracle of sleep science, by the way).

Leather Retreat: Camp Non-Vanilla!

I went to camp when I was a kid, but it wasn't like this camp.  I mean, if I had been older than 11 and a lesbian (I went to Girl Scout Camp), I guess it could have been, but I think it would have been seriously, seriously frowned upon.  

"It's just...I don't think that's how they meant for the archery course to be used, is all."

Sex Surrogacy - Therapy or Prostitution?

So, the reason I'm in graduate school right now is to eventually become a sex therapist.  I'm really good at talking about sex and also at talking to people and I figure it's probably a good match.  As I talk to people about this, a surprising number of them have asked me if that means I'd be, "you know, having sex with people?"

Well, sure, all of us do.

Medical Supplies for Lovers

I was doing some shopping with a friend yesterday, and in one of the shops we ducked into, I found a little something on a table full of various flyers that absolutely made my day:

It's an internet store for bloodsports and medical fetishists!  Neither my friend nor the Manfriend knew such things existed, so in case you haven't either, here's a brief rundown of medical fetishes and bloodsports:

What Haven't the Dutch Thought Of?!

The Manfriend and I went to Amsterdam about 5 years ago, and we both loved it.  It's gorgeous, it's chill, it gives right-of-way to bicycles over trains, and you can get your hands on some of the best shawarma outside of the Middle East.  It's an exceedingly old city with some incredible places of historical and cultural interest, and you can walk through the little alleyways and streets forever and see something new every time. Let's face it, though...this is not what Amsterdam is best known for.

it actually looks like this!  photo by the Manfriend

Wii or WHEEEEEEE?

Apparently, a British woman is claiming that she became pretty much permanently sexually aroused after falling off her Wii Balance Board. Seems to me the Wii connection is kind of incidental, frankly.  I mean, it's not like she was using the thing in a prescribed manner and had some of legendary unending orgasm whilst doing Super Mario Yoga or something.

This exists.

10 Things You Didn't Know About Orgasm

If you've never heard of TED, you are in for a treat. TED is a non-profit organization who's mission is to spread knowledge and ideas. Some of the best thinkers in the world are given 18 minutes to talks about what they know, which is a LOT.

It started out about 25 years ago with talks about Technology, Entertainment and Design, but it's now grown to encompass tons of topics from music and poetry to physics and neurology. Some more high-profile members are Bill Gates, Jane Goodall, Douglas Adams, Malcolm Gladwell and James Watson, but every speaker is a leader in their respective field.

There are tons of talks on their website, but this one is from a science journalist Mary Roach, who has gone through all kinds of obscure research to bring us 10 things that I simply did not know about the most fun you can have:

AMAZING. A couple of choice tidbits: there is a case study of a woman who would bring herself to orgasm by brushing her teeth, "upsuck" is an actual scientific term, and that having an orgasm will cure the hiccups. As someone who is driven batshit insane by the hiccups, this information has made my week.

I love orgasms. I love TED. The two together are nothing short of magic.

Pedal to the Metal

Sandra Bullock's* husband cheated on her with a tattoo and fetish model (yes, I'm embarrassed that I know this, but my unholy interest in pop culture has produced something positive in this case). Said tattoo and fetish model states in an online profile that "[her] feet are perfect and [she] still get[s] a lot of foot fetish requests like pedal pumping."

What the hell is pedal pumping? Well, it's a combination of foot and car fetishism that just must be seen to be believed. According to sexologist Dr. Susan Block,

"The basic kinetic movement [in pedal pumping] is a masturbatory motion: the muscles releasing and contracting as the foot rubs repetitively against a phallic symbol, which is the gas pedal. Men think of themselves as cars. The 'vroom' of the engine reminds them of their own libidos being revved up by this hot woman."

And let me tell you, my friends, this is no underground movement - it's everywhere on the internet. Because pedal pumping videos involve no nudity aside from bare feet, they're fully accessible on YouTube and on any search engine. There are several variations that I've found, and though they are safe for work, you might have a hard time explaining them, so use your discretionary muscles:

Very basic: a pretty, manicured foot in a pretty shoe pumping a pedal. There are subcategories based on shoe styles, such as ballet flats, flip-flops, boots, bare feet, etc. Most show a lot of skin, and mules (like those above) seem particularly prolific. I don't find it arousing, but it must be said that the above girl does have some pretty feet.

Smoking + Percieved Pedophelia = Panties in Twist

So, what's happening in this picture?

most people wait until afterwards, but whatever

According to a French ad agency (the French are on a mission to make public service announcements as creepy as possible, apparently) it is exemplifying how smoking cigarettes makes you a slave to tobacco. Because only slaves give blow jobs. While smoking. Or something.

Wait, what?

I'm not particularly shocked by this ad campaign, but I'm relatively unshockable, except when pointless violence, gross unfairness, and/or spiders are involved. Plenty of people are, though. Really, I'm just confused. I mean, I get it - tobacco companies are trying to face-rape the virginal doe-eyed youth who are our future - but it's just not very effective.

This doesn't scream "Oh no, these kids are sex slaves. . .damn you tobacco!" to me. To me, it looks like some pasty kids wondering, "Does he know that the thing he wants me to touch his cock with is, in actual fact, on fire?"

And I Thought Bush-Era Sex Education Was Bad...

I'll admit to being a bit of an Anglophile. They brought me Jane Austen, Monty Python and Absolutely Fabulous, not to mention Yorkshire Pudding and David Beckham, and for this I am eternally grateful.

However, they're also responsible for hideous acts of colonial violence, bloody wars and that damn 'Shopaholic' book series (which, dear readers, you should especially not read while working in a central African hospital with no electricity or running water. It will anger you deeply).

The Brits also coughed this up, which was sent to the Answerbox this morning. I am at once amused and appalled (click to make it bigger):

Those blokes sure knew how to keep a bird happy!

A few highlights:

"Should your husband suggest congress, then agree humbly, all the while being mindful that a man's satisfaction is more important than a woman's."

"...a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment you may have had."

Mind you, this is from the 1960s, not the 1860s. 50 years ago, people. Well within my parents' lifetimes. I mean, I knew the Brits were a little more proper than we Yanks, but this is kind of ridiculous.

Whenever I get pissed off about the inequality women still have to deal with in this world, I like to break crap like this out to remind myself how much better I have it than my foremothers did.

Thank you, JJ, for sending this in, and for raising beautiful boys that will help to keep the gender gap shrinking!