Saturday, December 4, 2010

News Straight Men Have Been Waiting For!

Breasts have always been something that straight men (amongst others) are pretty enthusiastic about.  This has led to some controversy as to whether or not it is appropriate to express said enthusiasm by ogling.  Last year, a study was published that supposedly answered that question: staring at boobs is a good and healthy thing - in fact, it lengthens life expectancy!

She's saving your life!!

Reportedly, 200 healthy German men were followed over the course of 5 years - half of them were instructed to freely check out boobs during their daily life, the other half was asked to avoid doing so as much as possible.  At the end of the study, the oglers had lower blood pressure, lower resting pulse rates, and lower rates of coronary heart disease.  They also showed greater sexual function, which was fun for everyone involved!

Thank you, Boobs!!

Dr. Karen Weatherby, the primary investigator on the study, said that staring at a woman's breasts for 10 minutes has the same life-extending qualities for a man as a 30-minute aerobic workout.  Staring for "a few minutes daily" reduces the risk of heart attack and stroke by half.  How awesome is that?!  How completely unbelievable?!

Ze Fraulein Doktor also found out that
the cure for cancer is ICE CREAM!!

Turns out, it's entirely unbelievable.  Study nevah happened, I'm afraid to say.  But I'm posting about it anyway because even though the study is a hoax, it brings up a very important point:  it's OK to stare at boobs.  Not all the time - it's still rude to talk to a woman's breasts instead of her face (in most cases, anyway) - but in the right circumstances, looking is not only appropriate, it's often kind of the point.

I promise, bras like this are not worn for comfort.

It's natural for us to look at each other's bodies - if it weren't, it wouldn't turn everyone on so frickin' much!  And personally, I wouldn't be surprised if the results from the bogus study could be replicated.  It would be to a much, much less significant extent, but still.  Breasts make (most) straight men happy, and being happy makes people live longer.

Powerful medicine:  he's actually 243 years old

So ogle away, men.  Ogle away, EVERYONE.  If you don't like boobs, look at a cute butt or great shoulders or a particularly delectable-looking package.  Just look at something you find sexy about someone and drink it in.  Be respectful about it, and be discreet (unless you've been given permission, of course), but by all means, do it.  We're all gorgeous for a reason - appreciate it!!

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