Pedal to the Metal

Sandra Bullock's* husband cheated on her with a tattoo and fetish model (yes, I'm embarrassed that I know this, but my unholy interest in pop culture has produced something positive in this case). Said tattoo and fetish model states in an online profile that "[her] feet are perfect and [she] still get[s] a lot of foot fetish requests like pedal pumping."

What the hell is pedal pumping? Well, it's a combination of foot and car fetishism that just must be seen to be believed. According to sexologist Dr. Susan Block,

"The basic kinetic movement [in pedal pumping] is a masturbatory motion: the muscles releasing and contracting as the foot rubs repetitively against a phallic symbol, which is the gas pedal. Men think of themselves as cars. The 'vroom' of the engine reminds them of their own libidos being revved up by this hot woman."

And let me tell you, my friends, this is no underground movement - it's everywhere on the internet. Because pedal pumping videos involve no nudity aside from bare feet, they're fully accessible on YouTube and on any search engine. There are several variations that I've found, and though they are safe for work, you might have a hard time explaining them, so use your discretionary muscles:

Very basic: a pretty, manicured foot in a pretty shoe pumping a pedal. There are subcategories based on shoe styles, such as ballet flats, flip-flops, boots, bare feet, etc. Most show a lot of skin, and mules (like those above) seem particularly prolific. I don't find it arousing, but it must be said that the above girl does have some pretty feet.

This one combines a couple elements - you've got your pretty foot in a pretty shoe pumping and whatnot, but you've also got the sound of the engine not catching, which is said to increase anticipation and, therefore, arousal, as well as the shot of the car parts themselves.

This represents a much more detailed and complex type of offering: You've got the car stuck in the mud with the wheels spinning, something reported to be highly arousing. There's the sound of the engine revving, the mud getting everywhere, the plaintive whimpering of a pretty girl ("oh, no, I'm gonna get so dirty!"). Then you go inside and she's bouncing up and down everywhere and taking her shoes off - you get the picture.

Pedal pushing or 'cranking' aficionados are almost exclusively men, and primarily come, interestingly, from conservative parts of the country, particularly the southeast. The Daily Beast has an interesting article here, from which I first learned about this phenomenon, and took Dr. Block's quote. Man, I LOVE learning about what gets people off. LOVE IT!

*I love heart love Sandra Bullock, but I disliked The Blind Side. Apparently, black youth are doomed to a life of poverty and violence if not adopted by white fast food millionaires with spunky wives, in which case they get to play professional football. And as much as I love her, Sandra Bullock over Meryl Streep and Helen Mirren?!