Cheeky Angland

I've mentioned before that I'm a little stupid about British things.  I stayed up all night with girlfriends to watch Bill and Cathy Cambridge get married, I watch Downton Abbey with joyful abandon, and, omigod, have you SEEN Call the Midwife?  And then there's Newcastle Brown Ale and Plymouth Naval Strength Gin...oh!  Also Henry Cavill.

Because omigod, have you SEEN Henry Cavill??

Sex Work Flow Chart

I've said it before, and I'll say it again - I really do try and stay apolitical here.  It doesn't matter which side of the aisle your preferred legislators congregate, pretty much everybody has sexy times, and I don't want to make anyone feel unwelcome.

Fer serious, y'all!  Come on in!

Sex Surrogacy - Therapy or Prostitution?

So, the reason I'm in graduate school right now is to eventually become a sex therapist.  I'm really good at talking about sex and also at talking to people and I figure it's probably a good match.  As I talk to people about this, a surprising number of them have asked me if that means I'd be, "you know, having sex with people?"

Well, sure, all of us do.

What Haven't the Dutch Thought Of?!

The Manfriend and I went to Amsterdam about 5 years ago, and we both loved it.  It's gorgeous, it's chill, it gives right-of-way to bicycles over trains, and you can get your hands on some of the best shawarma outside of the Middle East.  It's an exceedingly old city with some incredible places of historical and cultural interest, and you can walk through the little alleyways and streets forever and see something new every time. Let's face it, though...this is not what Amsterdam is best known for.

it actually looks like this!  photo by the Manfriend

Three is the Magic Number

Apparently, Washington, DC is cracking down on prostitution. They're creating "prostitution free zones" in parts of the city that have higher than average prostitution activity. Once an area is designated as a PFZ, 2 or more people standing around for the purpose of prostitution will be told to take a hike, and if they don't, they get a free ride downtown.

The big story out about this is that one of the ways officers can determine if people are on the game, or just participating in a flash mob, is by looking at how many condoms people have on them. Those with 3 or more condoms also get a free ride downtown, because only sex workers and their johns carry more than 1 condom at a time.

Those are the first notes in the song about how the person carrying all 3 of these at once is a whore

Now, that's not exactly true - the DC police are saying that having multiple condoms alone isn't reason enough arrest someone, but that it can be a factor in "justifying an investigative stop."
Again, because someone can't possibly want to get laid more than once in a night without money changing hands.

Even though they aren't arresting people for carrying multiple condoms, the city with the highest HIV rate in the US is not exactly making a smart move, here. Making condoms a factor in sex workers getting picked up will not make prostitution less common, only less safe. It will not only make everyday people less likely to carry condoms, it will most certainly make sex workers (and those who seek their services) less likely to. WHAT KIND OF THINKING IS THAT? Stupid thinking, that's what kind.

Here is a petition for you to sign, if you are so inclined (orange button on the left). The petition folks also suggest writing to the mayors of DC, New York and San Francisco, (whose police departments have similar policies about condoms) and "asking them to tell their police forces to stop considering condoms as evidence of intent to commit any crime." It works especially well if you live in one of those cities (and some of you do....) and could potentially vote for the other guy next time if you don't get your way.

So don't let the man bring you down, tell him what's up. And thank you, Drew, for the heads up on this ridiculousness via the Chakabox Facebook page!

Go forth and carry those condoms with pride, ya hookers!

Words = Potential Lifesavers

Several years ago, my good friend Alexis was working in Mumbai doing HIV/AIDS education amongst poor women, because she's rad like that. One day, while sitting in an internet cafe, an Indian man at the next computer spoke to her:

"Sister, what are you doing here in India?" (Alexis is very clearly not Indian)

"I'm teaching women about HIV and AIDS."

"Oh, I am so glad you are here! I was with a prostitute last night, and I am worried that I could have gotten AIDS. Can you tell me if I am in danger?"

"Did you use a condom?"

"Oh yes, I always use a condom with prostitutes. But I kissed the woman on the mouth. Am I in danger?"

"Well, it's very good that you always use condoms with prostitutes, and you should keep doing that. It is very unlikely that you could have gotten HIV from a kiss. But I will suggest that before you get married, you get tested, to make sure you and your wife are safe."

No hesitation, no embarrassment, no judgment. And I love how she connected getting tested for HIV with his responsibility as a husband - people will often do something for a partner that they won't do for themselves. She gave factual, relevant information in an open and honest way that very well may have saved lives.

For that, and countless other things, including once saying "If I had $5 for every boy I deflowered, I could buy a sweater at the Gap", Alexis will always be a winner here at Chakabox.