Dave Chappelle and Q-Tip Explain STDs to America's Youth

Dave Chappelle is funny as hell.  And Q-Tip apparently does everything well (and is also beyond dreamy).  Here, they (and also Snoop Dogg/Lion) tell some youngsters (and now you!) about penis diseases!  (NSFW on account of puppet nudity!)

Comedy Central

Kid's face at 1:32!

How great is it when entertainment can teach you something?  The only thing not true in that whole video is that you can't get crabs from toilet seats - though you CAN get them from bed sheets, towels and sofas.  And just so you know, the story about crabs going extinct because of Brazilian waxing is based on doctors' anecdotal data, not any kind of actual scientific research, so we haven't exactly dodged a bullet yet.

Look how happy that non-extinct crab is!!

So take it from Dave, kids..."Keep your genitals out of harm's way, don't chase money, and refrain from littering, you'll be a winner!

Condoms, Please. No, Really. Trust Me.

You've been hearing it since forever, but now there's an all-new reason to not just glaze over and think, "Come ON.  We know to use condoms, OK? Next topic".

Being told to use condoms is sooooo '07.

Occupational Hazard

This past Tuesday, it was made public that an undisclosed actor in the LA porn business tested positive for HIV.  It's not the first time it's happened, but it is the first time in over a year, and it's making major waves in the adult film industry.  Several adult studios, including Vivid and Wicked Pictures, which are two of the largest, have temporarily shut down production entirely until the full extent of the exposure is known.

Team Hollywood is on the case

Gel Says: GTFO HIV!

Exciting news on the anti-STD front, people!  If it weren't before noon, I'd straight up have a cocktail, but as a general rule I try to avoid drinking before noon on weekdays.  It's tempting though, because this is cause for celebration:  for the first time, a vaginal gel has shown real promise in a large-scale clinical trial at preventing the spread of HIV in sexually active women.  

this use of gel should also prevent STDs because ew, don't sleep with that, but no. 

Rape at Your Own Risk

It is probably not a surprise that I am very firmly anti-rape.  I mean, what kind of an asshole consciously rapes someone?  Unless agreed upon in a mutually consensual and explicitly discussed way beforehand, if someone says "no" (or any permutation thereof,) during sexy time, sexy time is over.  This is not a complicated concept.

assholes with horses, apparently

Big Brother is Watching Your Junk

Amongst the random things that I love is WWI and WWII propaganda art.  So imagine my delight when I found out that during both of these wars, there were huge campaigns against STDs, or if you want to be authentic, VD.  Instead of trying to describe the sheer awesomeness of them, I present a selection for you!  TheChive has a crapload more here - thanks to them for accumulating all of 'em into one single page of sheer Chaka joy!

This is on the lid of my lunchbox.  It is the best lunchbox in the world.

GO, Steamworks!!

Last night, the Manfriend and I were taking a stroll over to one of our favorite little places to have some cocktails (who says date night can't be on a Tuesday?!), when we passed by something that gave me a natural high that lasted even after my actually-not-too-sweet gin lemon drops started warming things up.  (BTW, if you've never had a lemon drop with gin instead of vodka, you should totally give it a try - it is a beautiful thing.)

John would've understood how I felt...

Fun for Data Miners!

One of my favorite parts of the movie Amelie is this (NSFW) one:

Because I also wonder this!!

Now, I need not wonder anymore, thanks to none other than the interwebs. Enter IJustMadeLove.com!

The main page is a map with lots of pink and blue icons on it. Each of these markers represents people that have recently gotten it on. Some represent single couples, other large concentrations of couples. You can filter by how recently sex was had, the sex of the people gettin' it on, whether the sex was hetero- or homosexual, where it was had (on a couch? a boat?), whether it was someone's first time, and if a condom was used. FUN!

You can also zoom in really far to pretty much anywhere in the whole world, from the wide angle of the whole world to your very own streetcorner. You can also leave your own markers, completely anonymously!

I just learned that a girl had awesome shower sex last night at about 10:30 down by Fort Lewis, WA. And a guy in Seoul had a MARATHON earlier today that looks like it was a lot of fun. SO FUN! Yay!

IJML is the brainchild of the lovely people at SharQ Ltd., a Polish interactive web application development team. Thank you for this latest diversion, smiley Polish interweb people!

Grindr

So. Grindr. The newest thing in WiFi technology for gay men. An app for iPhone and iPod Touch that uses GPS to hook guys up for casual sex. It's like Craigslist on steroids!

Not for pepper.

On the one hand, I think this is ingenious. What a clever application of GPS technology, and way to identify a market and cater to it! On the other, the STD fighter in me cringes at the sheer number of casual sexual encounters that result from such a thing. Don't forget the condoms, men!

There are some concerns about safety and privacy. Personally, I think it's as safe as any other tryst-with-a-stranger-from-the-internet, gay or straight (meet in public and trust your heebie-jeebies, hurt feelings be damned).

There are also those that say the app perpetuates negative stereotypes of gay men as promiscuous and sex-crazed, which is probably true in some cases. As a counter, I will take this opportunity to point out that most gay men are not just looking for regular anonymous sex in random places. A bunch are, or apps like this wouldn't exist, but most are looking for someone to build a life and buy real estate with.

What are your thoughts? Have you used Grindr? What did you think?

Oh! Speaking of gay sex, there's some GREAT news! The rates of syphillis and gonorrhea among gay men in San Francisco declined in 2009!! Keep it up (and covered), men!!

UPDATE 2.19.10: Get it while you can, guys...looks like Apple is flexing their inner Big Brother again.

DC Notes

On Friday morning , I posted about a rumor going around the interwebs about the Washington DC police arresting people for carrying 3 or more condoms for prostitution. It was my intention to debunk said rumor, for it is most certainly not true, but even if I accomplished that, I left out a couple of key points that I want to bring to light now.

When I checked my email Friday evening, I'd gotten an email from the office of Adrian M. Fenty, the mayor of Washington DC, which reiterated one of the points I feel wasn't made plain enough: "The criminal offense associated with a Prostitution Free Zone involves the failure to disperse, after an officer issues such an order to two or more persons congragating on public space within the PFZ." It has nothing whatsoever to do with carrying condoms.

However, someone carrying condoms is a factor in determining whether said people are congregating for purposes of prostitution, as opposed to a prayer meeting, which is totally legal, even in a PFZ.

I still argue this will just make prostitutes less likely to carry condoms, as opposed encourage them to find a job in retail. Not reducing prostitution while simultaneously making it more risky doesn't jive with either the point of the law, nor the otherwise-pretty-great thing DC doing to reduce the HIV rate in DC.

That pretty-great thing is the other thing I didn't highlight - or mention at all, for that matter. DC Public Health is doing a mass distribution of free condoms, but they're not just putting them in clinics and health centers and the like. They're putting them in nightclubs, bars, convenience and liquor stores, restaurants and laundromats, which is a fantastic idea.

So, DC could be doing more to reduce its ridiculous 3% HIV rate (on par with Kenya and Uganda), but is doing pretty progressive, forward-thinking things already. I like to be as thorough as I can be and get both sides of things like this, so I hope I've done that now.

And because even the most diligent of us have moments of pheromone-induced insanity, I leave you with a friendly reminder for everyone to USE CONDOMS WITH NEW PARTNERS!!! I won't sugarcoat it and admit that sex with condoms is less fun than without them, but sex with condoms is WAY more fun than sex with HIV.

Three is the Magic Number

Apparently, Washington, DC is cracking down on prostitution. They're creating "prostitution free zones" in parts of the city that have higher than average prostitution activity. Once an area is designated as a PFZ, 2 or more people standing around for the purpose of prostitution will be told to take a hike, and if they don't, they get a free ride downtown.

The big story out about this is that one of the ways officers can determine if people are on the game, or just participating in a flash mob, is by looking at how many condoms people have on them. Those with 3 or more condoms also get a free ride downtown, because only sex workers and their johns carry more than 1 condom at a time.

Those are the first notes in the song about how the person carrying all 3 of these at once is a whore

Now, that's not exactly true - the DC police are saying that having multiple condoms alone isn't reason enough arrest someone, but that it can be a factor in "justifying an investigative stop."
Again, because someone can't possibly want to get laid more than once in a night without money changing hands.

Even though they aren't arresting people for carrying multiple condoms, the city with the highest HIV rate in the US is not exactly making a smart move, here. Making condoms a factor in sex workers getting picked up will not make prostitution less common, only less safe. It will not only make everyday people less likely to carry condoms, it will most certainly make sex workers (and those who seek their services) less likely to. WHAT KIND OF THINKING IS THAT? Stupid thinking, that's what kind.

Here is a petition for you to sign, if you are so inclined (orange button on the left). The petition folks also suggest writing to the mayors of DC, New York and San Francisco, (whose police departments have similar policies about condoms) and "asking them to tell their police forces to stop considering condoms as evidence of intent to commit any crime." It works especially well if you live in one of those cities (and some of you do....) and could potentially vote for the other guy next time if you don't get your way.

So don't let the man bring you down, tell him what's up. And thank you, Drew, for the heads up on this ridiculousness via the Chakabox Facebook page!

Go forth and carry those condoms with pride, ya hookers!

Barrier fun!

And now, a quick primer (or refresher) on how to operate latex and polyurethane barriers! Good times!

(thanks to EvilMinded1!)

Couple things to add:

• check the expiration date on the condom wrapper - throw it away if it's expired!
• make sure there is air inside the unopened condom wrapper - if there is no air, the wrapper has been compromised - throw it away!
• pinch the tip of the condom before rolling it on to create a little pocket - it gives the cum somewhere to go.
• don't keep condoms in your wallet or pants pockets - heat breaks down latex!
• spermicidal condoms and lube can be irritating to the vagina or rectum, and can actually increase the risk of STD transmission - use them with caution!

(thanks to msuhealthpro!)

The only thing about dental dams is that they can be hard to find and are REALLY expensive. You can totally Martha Stewart up your own, though, using a condom and a pair of ordinary household scissors:

Dental dams for pennies on the dollar - it's good thing.

Have fun and be careful!!

I may be horribly behind the times on this, but I only just heard about this while watching guilty pleasure television on VH1 (100 Greatest Hip Hop Songs). (aside: Big Daddy Kane is not quite as chiseled as he once was. And it's kind of freaking me out that Fab 5 Freddy is on VH1.)

I can't actually find whether or not Lifstyles has or will actually release this line, but I hope they have/do. This is such a better idea than a clothing line. I'm not trying to rank on G-Unit or anything, but 50 Cent scores a huge win with this. It's been too long since condoms have been promoted in the popular mainstream.

If anyone finds these, tell me. I will happily support.