Porny Dilemma

We were discussing use of pornography in committed relationships in one of my classes last Friday, and toward the end of the discussion, a man in my class raised his hand and said something to the affect of, "It's important people know that all porn stars are victims of earlier sexual abuse, and by consuming pornography, you are witnessing a woman re-traumatizing herself for money."  I could go into how obnoxious I found this comment to be, but I would only be re-traumatizing myself.

"...I had to roll my eyes...roll them so hard...it was awful..."

Mea Culpa, Here's Some Porn

I have been PAINFULLY remiss in updating the Box, my friends, and for that I am sorry.  Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa (that is a shout out to not one, but two ex-amoreaux - I spent the past week writing my sexual history, and the trip down memory lane has stirred up all kinds of crazy memories.  Apparently, I have a thing for men who speak Latin.)

indeed

Occupational Hazard

This past Tuesday, it was made public that an undisclosed actor in the LA porn business tested positive for HIV.  It's not the first time it's happened, but it is the first time in over a year, and it's making major waves in the adult film industry.  Several adult studios, including Vivid and Wicked Pictures, which are two of the largest, have temporarily shut down production entirely until the full extent of the exposure is known.

Team Hollywood is on the case

British Spies are SMART

I've already admitted that I rather fancy the Brits.  I like their accents and I like their television (which is always so much better than the American remakes), and I like looking at their princes.  Not that they don't have their problems (we can talk about the deeply ingrained racism and classism another time), and it's not like they didn't act like dicks running around colonizing everything for about a jillion years, but I have an uncanny ability to romanticize things when I want to.

A typical Tuesday night in a typical British household

Fetishes

Hulu is the second best place on the internet, folks (after yours truly, of course).  Not only does it allow me to watch Glee on my own time (read: when I'm alone so I can cry in peace when Kurt's dad vies for father of the year, or, you know, they come back from commercial or something), but it introduces me to documentaries like Fetishes.

you have to sign up and prove you're a grownup to watch it...you won't die from it

Dirty House Cleaning

The following is posted on a light pole outside my apartment building:

he won't do you, but he WILL do your windows!

Seeing as how I'm an unemployed graduate student, I am entirely unable to justify retaining domestic help, no matter how cheap or naked it might be.  I'm not sure if he's a naturist, a kind of exhibitionist (link NSFW), or if he's just a housecleaner with an angle, but I applaud his entrepreneurial spirit, no matter what his motives.  Work it out, Nude Home Cleaner & Domestic Assistant (guy)!

Sex Surrogacy - Therapy or Prostitution?

So, the reason I'm in graduate school right now is to eventually become a sex therapist.  I'm really good at talking about sex and also at talking to people and I figure it's probably a good match.  As I talk to people about this, a surprising number of them have asked me if that means I'd be, "you know, having sex with people?"

Well, sure, all of us do.

Good Night, Sweet Lady

The Seattle Lusty Lady is closing its doors this summer, and I could not be more sad about it.  Not only has its shiny marquee sexed up and amused Downtown Seattle since I was a monkey, it's known as being a great place for women to work - it's generally managed by females (which is a rarity in the industry), dancers are paid an hourly wage rather than being tip-dependent, providing a more stable income, and profit-sharing is only one of the benefits available to employees.

culture, dammit!

Recession Proof Jobs

Everybody keeps talking about health and computer careers being recession-proof employment. That very well may be true, but there is another industry that does gangbusters and better, no matter what the economic climate. The Adult Entertainment Industry.

SexyJobs.com wants to hook you up with your "dream life" as an adult entertainment professional. They've got listings for men, women and transgendered actors, models, phone operators, and a bevy of other porny labor opportunities for the unemployed or underemployed masses.

Job seekers can post a resume and employers in need of talent can search said resumes for free, much like any other job site, like monster.com or careerbuilder.com, except with boobs. There are subscription membership 'upgrades' for cash, which supposedly give people access to additional job information, but I couldn't get much info about what the benefits really are. They get over 20,000 hits a month, so somebody's looking at it!

...yes, but what is your educational background?

I first heard about this on Judge Judy (who is kind of my hero) where a woman who was hired through this service got screwed (not literally) by the guy who hired her, so it's not always smooth, but the site is authentic. Like other job search sites, potential employers contact talent directly, so the site doesn't take a cut.

I'll say, as I do to all people I come across that are thinking about becoming sex workers, that if you choose to go for one of these jobs, do your research before going anywhere. Make sure the people you're going to work for are legit and professional. This goes for women AND men.

When going to a new job, make sure at least one person knows where you're going, who you're working for, and when you're supposed to be done for the day. Most people are going above board, but even legal sex workers are vulnerable to being taken advantage of in pretty grave ways.

If you've used this service, I'd love to hear about your experience!

Edit: I'm not suggesting that anyone seek employment in Adult Entertainment. But considering that pornography is a multi-billion-dollar industry, it's naive to think that nobody does. If this post and advice apply to you, I hope they're helpful. If they don't, enjoy them (or not) for entertainment/informational purposes only, but don't go reading anything crazy into it. Thanks!

Not Work Safe, Dude Doesn't Care

One of the odd things about my last workplace was that on any given day, you could walk by various offices and see genitalia displayed openly on computer monitors. Ahhhh...science.

So, if the guy in the video below also worked in an STD research clinic, nobody would be particularly surprised if naked parts showed up on his computer. But because he works in a wealth management office, that surprise factor shoots up to about 9.5. Look over the talking head's left shoulder at about 1:00.

Now we're talkin' a spreadsheet!

My favorite part? Check out employee of the month at 1:34: "Wait, what?"

Let this be a life lesson for you, dear readers: if at work your computer monitor faces anything other than you and the wall behind you, save the topless photos for home. Especially when instead of the wall your computer monitor faces, say, the television camera crew that has set up across the room for the afternoon.

Who Wants to be Sexually Harrassed?

The Manfriend forwarded this video the other day:

Total sexual harassment! I mean, it's a game show and not a workplace, the outcome of the game didn't ride on whether or not he responded favorably to her, and the dude did seem to roll with it, but he's clearly uncomfortable in several places.

And think about it - can you imagine the shitstorm that would have ensued if Regis Philbin had made any one of those comments to a female contestant? Equality only works if everyone is held to the same standard. And I'm pro-equality.

The Company Inkwell

David Letterman has been in the news (if we can call it that) because he admitted to sleeping with people he works with. I have to ask...who hasn't? I mean, we spend most of our waking lives at work, so it's a natural place to meet people. It's also a natural way to get yourself into a hot mess.

Don't get me wrong, it's fantastic when things are going well. Picturing that hot security guard naked is greatly improved when you can actually rip his clothes off later. Sex breaks make a workday go by like THAT, I'll tell you. But, oh man, if things go south, we're talking Antarctica, folks.

There are some strong-willed individuals that can take it in stride, but most end up in a drama that could be in contention for a daytime Emmy. You not only have to see the person every day, you have to interact with them in this smooth, detached way, when what you want to do is run away or scream or cry or punch them in the face.

Letterman's situation is complicated further because the women he slept with worked for him. Bonking the boss brings up issues surrounding coercion and favoritism, either real or imagined. There's also a real power imbalance in a relationship like that, no matter who is in the boss role. When you can punish your partner professionally for something that happened in your personal lives, it skews things.

So I say proceed with caution, whether it's the boss or a colleague. Getting into a situation that could ruin both your personal and professional life in one fell swoop is not something to play with, no matter how delicious that situation may be. I say find yourself someone from another inkwell and use your imagination. One day you're the boss, the next day you're the personal assistant, the next the copy repair person...the fun is endless!!