NYC is Pretty Neat, It Turns Out

I've never been to New York.  I've had various friends living there on and off since right after high school, but I've still never managed to get there.  There are some things that sound amazing about it, like 4 million restaurants from every country in the world, not to mention 4 million PEOPLE from every country in the world.  But then someone will say something like "every streetcorner in Manhattan smells like a different asshole" and the bloom comes off the rose a little.

 thank you, Manfriend, for that potent description

Rape at Your Own Risk

It is probably not a surprise that I am very firmly anti-rape.  I mean, what kind of an asshole consciously rapes someone?  Unless agreed upon in a mutually consensual and explicitly discussed way beforehand, if someone says "no" (or any permutation thereof,) during sexy time, sexy time is over.  This is not a complicated concept.

assholes with horses, apparently

Answerbox: Penis, Uninterrupted (Scientific Yet NSFW Pics Ahead!)

I got an email in the Answerbox the other day from a person who had just started dating an uncircumcised man for the first time, and wasn't quite sure what to do once his pants came off. In response, I give you an introduction to penises as nature makes 'em!

Men are born with a foreskin, which is a 2-layered fold of skin that covers the glans, (head) of a flaccid penis. Because most adult men in America today (65%-80%) have had their foreskin removed (been circumcised or 'cut'), many Americans have never seen an intact penis. This here is an example, for the uninitiated:

The outer layer of skin is, obviously, a continuation of the shaft's skin. The inner side is a mucous membrane, like the inside of the mouth or inner folds of a woman's yoni. When the penis becomes erect, the foreskin essentially turns inside out, exposing this more tender skin, as well as the head of the penis:

Where are all the not-porny pictures of non-white penises?! This irks me.

There are some foreskins that don't retract all the way back during an erection, and these can usually be manually retracted, or not, depending on a man's preference. Guys will know from solo efforts how best to handle the situation. If it just won't retract, no matter how he or you try, he may have a condition called phimosis, and should at least talk with a healthcare professional, especially if it would be the first time doing so. He may need medical intervention (though not necessarily).

To maintain a healthy uncircumcised penis, it needs to be kept clean (which can be said for any penis) and protected by condoms with new sex partners. Condoms are especially important because the mucous membrane makes uncut penises much more susceptible to STDs. This increased STD risk is one of the arguments made for circumcision, but the whole circumcision argument is something for another day.

From a partner perspective (which is the only perspective I've got, being female and all), I've found there's not much difference between intact and circumcised once a guy's standing at attention. The skin on the shaft of an erect uncircumcised penis slides up and down a lot more, condom technique varies slightly, and uncut penises tend to be more sensitive at the tip. Other than that, they're really very similar, and each is a treat in its own way!

penis treat!

Finally, if you have questions about any given unit, the absolute best person to ask is the guy attached to it. You can make it sexy and fun: start out gently, asking "do you like this?" while lightly touching him. Then just keep trying stuff ("...what about this? This?") until you get the hang of it. Don't be shy - there isn't a man out there that doesn't like undivided attention paid to his penis, especially when it's in an effort to pleasure it more effectively.

So, here's to the ever-fashionable Snake Sweater! Leaving penises intact is becoming more and more common in the US, so it's wise for young folks (or those with a taste for young men) to have a familiarity with what's coming up on deck. Thanks for your contribution, Answerbox submitter - now go get some with confidence. Have fun!!

Do you have a question for the Answerbox? Click here, or at the top of the page and ask away. All questions will be answered, and all names will remain 100% confidential!

Words = Potential Lifesavers

Several years ago, my good friend Alexis was working in Mumbai doing HIV/AIDS education amongst poor women, because she's rad like that. One day, while sitting in an internet cafe, an Indian man at the next computer spoke to her:

"Sister, what are you doing here in India?" (Alexis is very clearly not Indian)

"I'm teaching women about HIV and AIDS."

"Oh, I am so glad you are here! I was with a prostitute last night, and I am worried that I could have gotten AIDS. Can you tell me if I am in danger?"

"Did you use a condom?"

"Oh yes, I always use a condom with prostitutes. But I kissed the woman on the mouth. Am I in danger?"

"Well, it's very good that you always use condoms with prostitutes, and you should keep doing that. It is very unlikely that you could have gotten HIV from a kiss. But I will suggest that before you get married, you get tested, to make sure you and your wife are safe."

No hesitation, no embarrassment, no judgment. And I love how she connected getting tested for HIV with his responsibility as a husband - people will often do something for a partner that they won't do for themselves. She gave factual, relevant information in an open and honest way that very well may have saved lives.

For that, and countless other things, including once saying "If I had $5 for every boy I deflowered, I could buy a sweater at the Gap", Alexis will always be a winner here at Chakabox.

Barrier fun!

And now, a quick primer (or refresher) on how to operate latex and polyurethane barriers! Good times!

(thanks to EvilMinded1!)

Couple things to add:

• check the expiration date on the condom wrapper - throw it away if it's expired!
• make sure there is air inside the unopened condom wrapper - if there is no air, the wrapper has been compromised - throw it away!
• pinch the tip of the condom before rolling it on to create a little pocket - it gives the cum somewhere to go.
• don't keep condoms in your wallet or pants pockets - heat breaks down latex!
• spermicidal condoms and lube can be irritating to the vagina or rectum, and can actually increase the risk of STD transmission - use them with caution!

(thanks to msuhealthpro!)

The only thing about dental dams is that they can be hard to find and are REALLY expensive. You can totally Martha Stewart up your own, though, using a condom and a pair of ordinary household scissors:

Dental dams for pennies on the dollar - it's good thing.

Have fun and be careful!!