Sexy Books With An Actual Story

Sexy books are fun, but sometimes you want something more than just bangin'.  I was 13 when I found Butterfly in a friend's bedroom, and ooooooooh, watch out.  The gold parts of the cover were all embossed like books from the grocery store, and though now it's so 80s it's kind of charming, back then it was the 80s and it was just kind of fabulous.  

Where are my Dynasty shoulder pads and L'Oreal mousse?

Good Night, Sweet Lady

The Seattle Lusty Lady is closing its doors this summer, and I could not be more sad about it.  Not only has its shiny marquee sexed up and amused Downtown Seattle since I was a monkey, it's known as being a great place for women to work - it's generally managed by females (which is a rarity in the industry), dancers are paid an hourly wage rather than being tip-dependent, providing a more stable income, and profit-sharing is only one of the benefits available to employees.

culture, dammit!

The Hedgehog

When "Porn Star: The Legend of Ron Jeremy" came to the movie theater across the street from the bookstore where I worked back in 2001, nobody would see it with me, because they were laaaaaaame. Being the person I am, I went by my damn self, because how could I miss a whole entire movie about the most prolific and unexpected porn star in history?

I just love the guy. He uses plastic bags as his luggage. He dyes his eyebrows. He taught Special Ed before he became an actor. Yes, his nickname is "The Hedgehog", which does kinda paint a good picture, but he seems to genuinely love women, his job and life itself. AND he has a 9.75" cock and a reputation for nirvana-inducing cunnilingus skills! What's not to love?!

Pre-hedgehog days - nummers!

Jeremy has performed over a thousand films, directed and written hundreds more, appeared in documentaries, television shows, music videos, live appearances...and he wrote a book that I will be reading as soon as I have 2 seconds to read something not related to couples and family therapy.

Here is an interview he did with TIME magazine a couple of years ago, which inspired this post. Here's to you, Ron Jeremy, for making fat, hairy and bald something the ladies can't stop jumping on.

Non-Vanilla

Last night, some girlfriends and I went to see The Time-Traveler's Wife. It was mostly terrible, although watching Eric Bana run around naked is not a bad way to spend an evening. (Rachel McAdams is also gorgeous, if painfully thin). Not worth seeing.

Anyway, we went to an early show, so afterwards we went to this little place down the street for a nightcap (bottle of white with some fried plantains and guacamole - both were yummy and spicy). As it often does when women and wine are combined, the conversation turned to men, then to sex. As it often does when I am involved in sex conversations, we got to talking about what we termed "non-vanilla" sex.

I find it fascinating - how if you can imagine it, someone is getting off on it. There's a book I saw about 10 years ago called Deviant Desires, which piqued my interest. It's a primer on several fetish sex practices, like (links NWS) pony play, sploshing and balloon fetishes. The book, while fabulous, only scratches the surface. This image (created by the author of Deviant Desires) illustrates how complex the fetish world can get:

Then there's a whole crazy-sexual-position world, which is a whole 'nother thing. An episode of South Park opened the door to things I never knew existed: it's the one where Mr. Garrison is quizzing kindergartners the names of different sexual positions. All the positions mentioned in that clip, along with countless others, are illuminated in the Urban Dictionary. Each one was thought out by someone, and I have no doubt that each one has been tried, multiple times. It goes on and on! It's fantastic!

While I may not be into all of them, I wholeheartedly support the consensual pursuit of all non-vanilla sex practices. Life is way too short to not get some the way you really like it. I support finding and having partners that you can share your secret desires with - and getting flavorful with each other!

Nervous Sounding Guy

It is evening at the Bookstore, 1999-2000ish. The phone rings.

me: "Thank you for calling the Bookstore, how may I help you?"

nervous sounding guy: "Yeah...uh...I've kind of got an emergency on my hands...I need a book, like, now...do you have a copy of 'A Hand in the Bush'?"

me (looking in computer system): "By Deborah Addington? I'm afraid to say we don't have it in stock, but I can have it here in a couple of days."

NSG: "Uh...no, that's alright. I really need it tonight. Thanks anyway." Click.

Oh, Nervous Sounding Guy, I want to know your story. I know you may have been some college punk trying to get a rise out of the girl on the phone, or some lonely old man trying to get a rise out of himself...but I like to think your call was in earnest. That some delicious kinky vixen was waiting there in the background, getting more and more insistent with each moment, and that you were so stoked to have the opportunity to finally give this a try, but want to make sure you were doing it right so you sought printed reference material.

I love that this book exists. I love that this guy called and asked for it. I really hope he was legit...and I really hope he found his book. I hope he found himself wrist-deep in delight and half deaf from the screams. Sigh.