Well, Hello!

Sooooo...it's been a while.  Heh.  How the hell are ya?

Mea maxima culpa, even.

Choppy Chop

Male circumcision: it's a controversial subject.  Some people say God commands it, some people say it's the only way to keep a penis really clean (which is patently untrue), some people say it's merely an unnecessary cosmetic procedure, and some others think it's the straight up mutilation of babies.

Something like that, yeah...

Greece Has Always Been Interesting...

...but now I am FASCINATED.

All that, and feta, lamb, and olives for days?  This is my kind of country, people.  

Rape at Your Own Risk

It is probably not a surprise that I am very firmly anti-rape.  I mean, what kind of an asshole consciously rapes someone?  Unless agreed upon in a mutually consensual and explicitly discussed way beforehand, if someone says "no" (or any permutation thereof,) during sexy time, sexy time is over.  This is not a complicated concept.

assholes with horses, apparently

Spooge 101

Because there's no such thing as having too many factoids to share at cocktail parties. Click to make it bigger!

Thanks for the submish, Zobot!

Answerbox: Penis, Uninterrupted (Scientific Yet NSFW Pics Ahead!)

I got an email in the Answerbox the other day from a person who had just started dating an uncircumcised man for the first time, and wasn't quite sure what to do once his pants came off. In response, I give you an introduction to penises as nature makes 'em!

Men are born with a foreskin, which is a 2-layered fold of skin that covers the glans, (head) of a flaccid penis. Because most adult men in America today (65%-80%) have had their foreskin removed (been circumcised or 'cut'), many Americans have never seen an intact penis. This here is an example, for the uninitiated:

The outer layer of skin is, obviously, a continuation of the shaft's skin. The inner side is a mucous membrane, like the inside of the mouth or inner folds of a woman's yoni. When the penis becomes erect, the foreskin essentially turns inside out, exposing this more tender skin, as well as the head of the penis:

Where are all the not-porny pictures of non-white penises?! This irks me.

There are some foreskins that don't retract all the way back during an erection, and these can usually be manually retracted, or not, depending on a man's preference. Guys will know from solo efforts how best to handle the situation. If it just won't retract, no matter how he or you try, he may have a condition called phimosis, and should at least talk with a healthcare professional, especially if it would be the first time doing so. He may need medical intervention (though not necessarily).

To maintain a healthy uncircumcised penis, it needs to be kept clean (which can be said for any penis) and protected by condoms with new sex partners. Condoms are especially important because the mucous membrane makes uncut penises much more susceptible to STDs. This increased STD risk is one of the arguments made for circumcision, but the whole circumcision argument is something for another day.

From a partner perspective (which is the only perspective I've got, being female and all), I've found there's not much difference between intact and circumcised once a guy's standing at attention. The skin on the shaft of an erect uncircumcised penis slides up and down a lot more, condom technique varies slightly, and uncut penises tend to be more sensitive at the tip. Other than that, they're really very similar, and each is a treat in its own way!

penis treat!

Finally, if you have questions about any given unit, the absolute best person to ask is the guy attached to it. You can make it sexy and fun: start out gently, asking "do you like this?" while lightly touching him. Then just keep trying stuff ("...what about this? This?") until you get the hang of it. Don't be shy - there isn't a man out there that doesn't like undivided attention paid to his penis, especially when it's in an effort to pleasure it more effectively.

So, here's to the ever-fashionable Snake Sweater! Leaving penises intact is becoming more and more common in the US, so it's wise for young folks (or those with a taste for young men) to have a familiarity with what's coming up on deck. Thanks for your contribution, Answerbox submitter - now go get some with confidence. Have fun!!

Do you have a question for the Answerbox? Click here, or at the top of the page and ask away. All questions will be answered, and all names will remain 100% confidential!

GAGA

Seriously, I love me some Lady Gaga. She is beyond fabulous. She's not the first to do the whole life-and-fashion-as-art thing, but ohmigod she does it so damn well with her teacups and her fashion and her never wearing pants. She's just delicious.

Recently, the buzz around le Gaga has been all aswirl...omg, does she have a penis?!?! Is she a MAN?!?! Well, here it is from her own scrumptious dollface:

"It's not something that I'm ashamed of, just isn't something that I go around telling everyone. Yes. I have both male and female genitalia, but I consider myself a female. It's just a little bit of a penis and really doesn't interfere much with my life. The reason I haven't talked about it is that it's not a big deal to me. Like come on. It's not like we all go around talking about our vags. I think this is a great opportunity to make other multiple gendered people feel more comfortable with their bodies. I'm sexy, I'm hot. I have both a poon and a peener. Big f*cking deal."

How can you not admire someone that down with being exactly who she is?! This woman grew up with a penis in a country where girls destroy themselves over a couple of extra pounds, and she came out of it as a positive, smart, talented and successful woman in love with herself and her body. If that's not something to look up to, I don't know what is.

Get some Gaga!

Yay for Penises!

Yay for days and days!

There is little I could say that hasn't already been said about the wonderous wang, especially because I don't want to get all porny, and I know how I feel about wangs. I will just say I am wholeheartedly pro-penis.

I'm not the only one, either: here is a list of religions that worship penises!

And there's Kanamara Matsuri, or the Festival of the Steel Phallus. It takes place on the first Sunday in April in Kawasaki, Japan. It's a fertility festival that involves a shrine of phallus worship - there's some neat info and background here.

Kanamara Matsuri - I love a parade!

Finally, to round out this ode to all things glorious and penile, here is a list of famous units, thanks our friends over at the Listverse. Yay for penises!!!

I surely do